Wanted: Hens Teeth, Must Be Gold

21/11/12 -- Has anyone noticed that today's date is a palindrome by the way? If perchance anyone out there has any 6mm sugar beet pellets available in the North West, spot and forward then please let me know via the modern marvel that is email. Unfortunately 8mm is no good for this picky bugger, so don't bother offering me any of that. Neither I suspect would 5.5mm pellets cut the mustard, it's 6mm or bugger all. He's got a ruler, so don't try pulling a swift one.

I bet this guy was great fun at Christmas when he was a kid: "I want a Tracey Island, the big one with the limited edition Thunderbird 3 in orange, a fully autographed copy of Sgt Pepper (including George Martin AND Brian Epstein), just the Fab Four and George Martin will not suffice and don't bother trying to forge the signatures I can tell, a top of the range Chopper with solid gold handlebars and a 1/32-scale replica of the Titanic made out of toothpicks. Don't disappoint me Pater or I'll pack my bags and you will never see me again and you'll die a lingering and lonely incontinent riddled, piss soaked death, every fibre of your body contorted with the remorse of how you let your little innocent wide-eyed bundle of joy down so cruelly this Christmas. Dog breath."