Sprouts, Sprouts, There's Still A Few About

14/12/10 -- As Tears For Fears would add "these are the things I could do without" - every cloud has a silver lining doesn't it? And this year's one is the shortage of the wretched fart-inducing sprout.

Wracked by the cold, hopefully what didn't get killed off last week will be duly finished off by Mother Nature when this week's Arctic blast arrives from the north.

Please Santa insulate me just once from the words "I'll just put you a few on, and if you don't want them you can just leave them on the side of the plate" this year.

I'm truly sorry for all you sprout farmers out there, can't you claim on Sprout Claims Direct or something?

"Have you fallen off a chair, tripped over a loose paving stone, been hit by a falling filing cabinet or suffered involuntary sprout-induced projectile vomiting round at your Grans on Christmas Day? Then ring 0800 145145 without delay. Where there's blame, there's a claim."

If you really must, then there are still a few left in the shops apparently, although prices are rising faster than a bride's nightie. Or I could always just post you mine.