The Locusts Dinner?

The Argentine government are to scramble air force planes to combat a plague of locusts that are threatening to devour the nation's wheat crop, say Bloomberg (here).

Drought, floods, now locusts. They must have really upset someone in a former life mustn't they? Yes, me the dirty cheating hand of God buggers.

Let's hope that the air force pilots can make it to the planes OK, without tripping over theatrically, rolling over and over before eventually making it to the penalty area clutching their faces like they've been hit with a baseball bat.

Still, they're overdue to win a war against somebody. Brilliant idea! Maybe we could send them that thing with the light-up eyes that they used to wheel out at the Adelphi Locust Dinner every February for a bit of target practice? That already looked like it had been hit by a couple of exocets in it's time.

And another thing, they'd better get their skates on, the Argentine wheat crop is already the smallest since 1977.

And another, 'nother thing: Jose, my man in Uruguay, tells me that very heavy rains are causing yield and quality problems for wheat in Uruguay and Brazil too.