Swine Flu My Arse

"Swine Flu Spreads to Hundreds in New York as Global Pandemic Threat Climbs," says the headline on Bloomberg this morning.

The article goes on to tell us that there are 45 cases in New York, mostly at the St. Francis Preparatory School in Queens where "82 students have called in sick."

The New Zealand "outbreak" was also amongst a group of students was it not?

Are we spotting a trend yet?

"I know I've just had a three week field trip to Mexico Mummy, but I've got a sore throat & a tickly cough. I think I may need a few weeks observation on the settee in front of Tricia and Jerry Springer before I go back to school. And besides all the teachers hate me, and the kids call me names."

"There there my pet lamb, lets get you down to hospital straight away, I'll buy you some Lucozade and some of those cough sweets you like on the way. But you'll have to go back eventually you know my precious one, you are the Geography teacher."

Workshy Students Drive Commodity Prices Lower, that would be a better headline.